EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement-Desensitization Reprocessing, is one of those therapies that we are starting to hear about everywhere on TikTok, podcasts, or from a friend who says, “It changed my life.” But despite how often it’s mentioned, there’s still a lot of confusion, skepticism, and unanswered questions about what it actually is and what it feels like in real life.
This is meant to answer the most common questions in a clear, grounded way without hype, jargon, or pressure. It isn’t magic (although I genuinely do think it feels like magic sometimes), and it isn’t a shortcut. It’s a structured, evidence-based therapy that helps the brain process what it couldn’t fully handle at the time. If you’ve been curious, hesitant, or just wanting honest information, you’re in the right place.
How Will I Feel After a Session?
It’s not uncommon for clients to report feeling fatigued after a session. You might feel a little emotionally raw but you should feel mostly put together by the end of your session.
EMDR sessions use a lot of cognitive and emotional energy. Even when sessions feel contained and manageable, your brain is doing real work behind the scenes (think massive heavy lifting session in the gym): organizing, reprocessing, and integrating information. Fatigue doesn’t mean something went wrong; it usually means something shifted.
Some people feel lighter. Some feel tired. Some feel neutral. All of those responses are normal. This is why pacing, grounding, and nervous system regulation are such important parts of EMDR therapy, not just the reprocessing itself.
What If I Don’t Remember My Trauma?
We can work with sensations in your body or negative beliefs you hold as our starting point. Often the brain remembers more details than we realize but even if it doesn’t, we don’t really need a ton of details to do the work.
Trauma is not stored like a movie with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s often stored as fragments such as sensations, emotions, images, or beliefs about yourself. EMDR doesn’t require a clear narrative to be effective.
In fact, many people who benefit from EMDR don’t have a single “big” memory they can point to. We follow what shows up, not what you think should show up.It removes the pressure from us to choose the “right things” and instead lets your brain take us to where it knows we need to go.
How Long Does It Take? How Many Sessions Will I Need?
This answer really varies from person to person based on a bunch of different factors. The pacing of sessions and care as a whole is based on what each individual’s nervous system can tolerate. There is no way to rush the process or say definitively how long it will take.
EMDR is not designed to be rushed. The nervous system sets the timeline, not a calendar. Some people notice changes relatively quickly. Others need more time building stability, resources, and trust before deeper processing begins. There is truly no right or wrong way to do this. Everyone wants the process to go as fast as possible but every nervous system is going to proceed at a different pace based on its previous experiences and sensitivities.
Progress in EMDR is measured by integration and reduced distress, not by speed. Faster is not better if it overwhelms the system. I know it can be hard to believe (or remember) but your system knows exactly what it needs, it’s our job to listen.
Who Is a Good Fit for This Therapy?
EMDR can be an option for people who possess (or are willing to learn) emotional regulation strategies and distress tolerance skills, who want to deal with the root cause of their current symptoms. EMDR therapy requires clients to have an openness to the process and a willingness to to connect with their bodies.
EMDR is collaborative. It works best when clients are curious, willing to slow down, and open to noticing internal experiences even when that feels unfamiliar at first. The therapist’s job is to continue monitoring for signs of distress/activation and assist the client if they get stuck. Both roles, therapist and client, are crucial for supporting the system in healing through integration.
If regulation skills need strengthening first, that becomes part of the work. Preparation is not a delay. It’s the foundation that makes EMDR effective and safe.
Is This Only for PTSD?
No! This can be helpful whenever there is distress in the mind and/or body. PTSD is one common diagnosis that this therapy is proven effective for but also things like depression, anxiety, eating disorders and more can be effectively treated.
Trauma is not defined solely by the event, it’s defined by how the nervous system experienced it. This is why EMDR can be effective for many conditions that involve stuck patterns, emotional reactivity, or negative self-beliefs.
EMDR helps the brain update old information so present-day experiences aren’t filtered through no longer adaptive filters.
Will EMDR Make Me Forget What Happened?
Absolutely not. The goal is that you no longer feel emotionally distressed by the events that have happened to you. You will still be able to recall the facts of the event, but the ultimate goal is that you should no longer experience emotional reactions when it comes up.
This distinction is crucial. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means the memory no longer controls your nervous system.
This distinction is crucial. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means the memory no longer controls your nervous system.
Do I Have to Relive My Trauma?
NOPE and we don’t want you to. When we are working through a traumatic event we don’t want you to go back into that event. We want you to notice it as an outside observer. The original event is over and “reliving it” will not change the outcome. Our goal is for your brain to recognize that the event happened in the past and is over now.
If therapy feels like retraumatization, something isn’t right. EMDR prioritizes dual awareness; being aware of the memory while staying anchored in the present.
This is how processing happens without overwhelm.
Is This Just About Eye Movements? What If I’m Skeptical?
Yes. Eye movements are just one form of bilateral stimulation, which we use to bring and keep your brain online (not in survival mode) during sessions. We also have the options for buzzers that you hold in your hands, tapping on your body, and listening to tones on your ears if you decide eye movements aren’t right for you.
Bilateral stimulation is about rhythm and integration, not hypnosis or mind control. The method is flexible, and your comfort matters.
Skepticism is allowed. Curiosity is enough.
Final Thoughts
EMDR is not about forcing healing. It’s about creating the conditions where healing can happen naturally. It respects the nervous system, honors pacing, and works with what’s already there rather than trying to override it.
If you’ve felt stuck in talk therapy, overwhelmed by symptoms you can’t explain, or tired of coping without relief, EMDR may be worth exploring with the right support and the right pace.
Curious whether EMDR could be a good fit for you? Schedule a consultation to ask questions, explore options, and see what support could look like.